Mason is developing a civility initiative and we need your feedback!
- Your responses will help ensure it is practical, relevant, and meaningful for the Mason community
- For this initiative, civility means “... treating others with dignity and respect—even during deep disagreements—to strengthen our community.”
- The anonymous survey takes less than 5 minutes to complete
- Your voice matters!
Patriots Choose Civility
Civility is respect in action; it does not require agreement or silence. These research-informed practices can help us improve the quality of our relationships & build a stronger community. Civility means treating others with dignity & respect—even during deep disagreements—to strengthen our community. Civility does not mean accepting harm or remaining in an unsafe situation. When conduct is threatening, discriminatory, coercive or abusive, set boundaries, seek support & use appropriate resources.
Civility Definition: Civility means treating others with dignity and respect—even during deep disagreements—to strengthen our community.
7 Tools of Civility
Show Respect: Treat everyone with dignity, even when you strongly disagree.
- Address the idea, choice or action, without attacking anyone’s character or identity.
- Look for complexity in others’ views; ask for clarification rather than assuming motives.
- Respect does not require agreement, endorsement or staying in an unsafe situation.
Include Others: Make room for each person to participate, belong & feel valued.
- Use clear, accessible language & acknowledge contributions.
- Seek missing perspectives without asking anyone to speak for a whole group.
- Notice who hasn’t had a chance to contribute & invite participation without pressure.
Listen to Understand: Give full attention & genuinely try to understand before responding.
- Ask open-ended questions with compassionate curiosity before sharing your own view.
- Pause your internal rebuttal & focus on the meaning behind the other person’s words.
- Restate their ideas so they feel understood: “What I hear you saying is… is that right?”
Communicate with Care: Share your perspective respectfully, especially when views differ.
- Share your convictions; civility includes strong dissent & does not require silence.
- Express yourself without sarcasm, public shaming, labeling others or personal attacks.
- Check the facts & be honest about what you know, believe & still need to learn.
Offer Constructive Feedback: Offer feedback for positive change, not to score points.
- Choose a time & setting that make a constructive response more likely.
- Describe what you’ve observed, & its impact, with genuine empathy.
- Be timely, specific & suggest clear next steps.
Honor Boundaries: Respect privacy, capacity, time & space.
- Ask for & honor consent; accept “no” or “not now” without pressure.
- Respect others’ time & availability; communicate early when plans need to change.
- Set your own boundaries; disengage if a conversation becomes harmful.
Take Responsibility: Own your choices, recognize your impact & repair harm.
- Name your part & consider your impact without shifting blame or making excuses.
- Acknowledge harm you’ve caused, apologize specifically & ask what would help.
- Be open to feedback, adjust your behavior when needed & seek support.
References
The 7 Tools of Civility translate well-established research findings into everyday practices. They are guides for respectful engagement, not a substitute for university policy, support services, or reporting procedures.
- Cohen, Steele, & Ross (1999), The Mentor’s Dilemma: Providing Critical Feedback Across the Racial Divide. Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin, 25, 1302-1318. doi:10.1177/0146167299258011
- Cuddy, A. J. C., Wolf, E. B., Glick, P., Crotty, S., Chong, J., & Norton, M. I. (2015). Connection before competence: Trait warmth facilitates the influence of competence on the outcomes of a professional encounter. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 108(4), 634-652.
- Decety, J., & Jackson, P. L. (2004). The functional architecture of human empathy. Behavioral and Cognitive Neuroscience Reviews, 3(2), 71-100.
- Edmondson (1999), Psychological Safety and Learning Behavior in Work Teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44, 350-383. doi:10.2307/2666999
- Forni, P. M. (2002). Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct. St. Martin's Press.
- Itzchakov et al. (2024), Listening to Understand: The Role of High-Quality Listening on Speakers’ Attitude Depolarization During Disagreements. Journal of Personality & Social Psychology, 126, 213-239. doi:10.1037/pspa0000366
- Keltner, D., & Lerner, J. S. (2010). Emotion. In Handbook of Social Psychology (5th ed., Vol. 1, pp. 114-135). John Wiley & Sons.
- Kluger & DeNisi (1996), The Effects of Feedback Interventions on Performance: A Historical Review, a Meta-Analysis, and a Preliminary Feedback Intervention Theory. Psychological Bulletin, 119, 254-284. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.119.2.254
- McRaney, D. (2022). How minds change: The surprising science of belief, opinion, and persuasion. Portfolio/Penguin.
- Peng, X. (2023), Advancing Workplace Civility: a systematic review and meta-analysis of definitions, measurements, and associated factors. Frontiers in Psychology, 14, 1277188. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1277188
- Walton & Cohen (2011), A Brief Social-Belonging Intervention Improves Academic and Health Outcomes of Minority Students. Science, 331, 1447-1451. doi:10.1126/science.1198364